Dear Bailey

My dearest Bailey girl,

I wish I could describe to you how much I already love you. Seeing you today, growing stronger and more perfect by the minute, my heart soared. God is knitting you together into a little person who will one day take on the world-but for now you’re simply my daughter.

My daughter. I had no idea the power those words would have until the technician announced you were a precious, little girl. Your daddy and I saw your heart beat, your tiny feet and petite body. You are truly a miracle.

I can’t wait to meet you, and hold you in my arms. Your daddy will steal you away for his own snuggle time, but that will only make me love you both more.

I can’t wait to see your first smile, to watch you sleep and explore this great, big world. For now, though, I plan to cherish this moment and every little movement you make that reminds me just how blessed I am.

God has such amazing plans for you Bailey, and he has entrusted your daddy and I with the privilege of raising you as our daughter. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a right, but I’ll thank God every day for blessing me with the chance to be your mommy.

All my love sweet pea,
Your mommy

A Heart Like April’s

On Wednesday night, I was challenged.

One of our awesome high school girls was sharing a letter from Ndupha, a young Kenyan boy our youth group sponsors. When she was finished, she stopped my heart cold with this simple statement:

“We are lucky to have the luxury to care whether our shoes match each day.”

Wow.

To be honest, I’d never thought about matching shoes as a luxury. I actually thought of it as a necessity. What would people think if I went walking around in a Saucony running shoe and a red stiletto?

I know what Ndupha’s friends might think-look at her shoes. She’s so BLESSED to have those shoes. They’d call me blessed! Even with mismatched shoes. Would I say the same thing?

So much of what we have we take for granted. Our clothes, our cell phones, our freedom, and yes, our shoes.

Thank you April for pointing out what we so often forget, that everything in life is a blessing. As Americans, we have so much, while so many in the world have so little. We have so much we can give to others if we start focusing on our blessings instead of what we “lack.”

Does this mean we all need to live in a commune, and share everything with everyone all the time? No. What it does require, however, is taking a step back to recognize the abundance in our lives, and the needs of others. For me, it also means asking God to transform my heart.

Hopefully, he’ll give me a heart like April’s.

On my mind

My mind should be wrapped up in homework, business research and product promotion. Instead, it’s wrapped up in this:

I want to make a difference.

I want to live like Christ.

I want a heart that breaks when it sees the poor, hungry and hurting, a heart that doesn’t shy away from the world’s problems when they seem too big to overcome.

I want to pursue greatness, and reject mediocrity.

I want girls to feel loved and cherished by their Daddy in heaven.

I want to help others find hope in Christ.

I want church to be a place where people experience God through the loving, open arms of His people.

I want to say yes to Christ in every situation, even when it might result in persecution.

I want to be a voice for the voiceless, a comforter for the hurting and a friend to the broken.

I want to embrace Psalm 37:4, fully delighting myself in the Lord and letting Him consume every piece of me.

What’s on your heart?

The Superwoman Myth

My husband will laugh when he reads this. He’ll tell me, “I told you so,” and “I wondered when you were actually going to listen to me.” I’ll look over at him sheepishly and say, “yes, you were right.”

You see, grad school has taught me something during the last nine months: superwoman does NOT exist. I’m not her. You’re not her. She doesn’t exist, and never did.

That’s such a freeing feeling for me right now as I feel torn between so many desires, wants, dreams, expectations, and anxieties. I want to be everywhere. I want to be at every event. I want to be the best writer. I want to be a spectacular wife (and mommy someday). I want to bake, have a clean home, ace all of my grad school classes, and be an accomplished PR strategist. And how do I feel in the midst of all of this wanting and striving? Tired. Exhausted. A little like salt water taffy on the stretching machine.

By striving so hard to be good at everything all the time, I haven’t been giving my all to anything. I feel inadequate from the strain toward perfection.

How thankful I am that God meets me in my weaknesses. In the midst of my crazy schedule, God has taught me that it’s okay to say no to some things right now, so I can say yes to grad school (and being a wife). I also don’t have to feel guilty about that decision.

I know God has great plans for my life. I’m in the midst of so much of it right now, and I’m excited for what is ahead. For now, however, I’m going to focus on what God has placed on my heart. Today, that means finishing my marketing homework. Tomorrow is up to God.

28 Things

For me, birthdays are a lot like celebrating New Years Day. It’s a fresh start. A time to reflect, a time to challenge yourself and a time to change. For the last few years, I’ve created a list of things on my birthday that I want to accomplish before my next birthday. When I was 25, it was 25 things; when I was 27, it was 27 things, etc. Some are health-related, some are hobby-related, some are spiritually-related, and some are simply random, personal goals that I include every year. Each is meaningful to me in a different way, and I look forward to looking back on them this time next year to see what I’ve accomplished. Feel free to ask me about them; each has its own story and reason for inclusion on the list.

In no particular order, here are my 28 things to accomplish before my 29th birthday:

1. Do hard things.
2. Surrender my future to Christ. (Check out: http://robertwells.tripod.com/surrender.html)
3. Pursue greatness in all things.
4. Find a mentor. (Anyone know a Christian woman who’s been successful in business and has a family? Does she like coffee? I’d love to chat.)
5. Be a mentor.
6. Try a new recipe each week.
7. Read one non-school book a month.
8. Learn to make a homemade pie crust.
9. Finish what I start.
10. Take ownership of my mistakes.
11. Run a 10K. (This one intimidates me!)
12. Become a prayer warrior. (Oh to be like Kathy Patton or Laurie Lischke…)
13. Take action, avoid distraction.
14. Send birthday cards on time! (I’m sooo bad at this.)
15. Read the Bible from cover to cover again.
16. Call one important person in my life each week.
17. Blog weekly.
18. Take more pictures.
19. Be a selfless listener.
20. Learn to make homemade bread.
21. Learn to make homemade Thai food. (This is my favorite type of food.)
22. Learn to make tirimisu. (And this is my all-time favorite dessert!)
23. Treat my body like the temple God created it to be.
24. Plan monthly adventures with Brent.
25. Embrace my role as Brent’s help mate.
26. Write monthly letters to the girl we sponsor in India through CRI.
27. Write a book: THAT Girl. (This one’s complicated…)
28. Serve the poorest of the poor. (This one’s heavy on my heart, and I don’t know where to go with it.)

This year, I also selected a verse to memorize, dwell on and live out this year:

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” -Psalm 37:4

So that’s my heart. We’ll see where it lands in 365 days.

Broken

Some days the pain in this world hits me over the head so fast and so hard a part of me breaks inside. Two weeks ago I had one of those days. After several years, I was reintroduced to someone I once knew well, only to see how sad of a turn their life has taken. The worst part was recognizing that their pain was entirely avoidable.

Today, was another one of those days. This time, however, I was asked to pray for two young girls in the midst of a terrible family situation full of drugs, abuse and neglect. Two young lives holding on by a thread, pulling at bits of hope as they find them.

A challenge has emerged from the broken pieces inside me.

I cannot stand idly by while those around me choose paths of destruction. It hurts too much to watch the tragedy of their lives unfold, one poor choice after another. I also cannot sit back and observe the pain young women are experiencing at the hands of another.

Young women should feel loved and cherished, with a world of opportunity before them. I pray God shows me how I can serve them, how I can pray and how I can actively be grace, hope and truth in their lives.

My heart is too broken not to.

**Psalm 62:5-6- 5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;my hope comes from him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.**

More than Words

For months, Brent and I have been in limbo. What are God’s plans for us? How will we get through this time, not knowing what tomorrow will bring? We’ve taken it one day at a time, trying to find comfort in the unknown, relying solely on faith rather than the craziness that surrounds us. But it’s been far from easy.

God promises joy, strength and provision. He says that He will never leave us or forsake us in the toughest of times. He promises perfect peace for those whose minds are steadfast on Him. Yet so often, I take those words for granted. I gloss over them like any other words on a page, missing the life-changing meaning within.

This morning, however, I’ve found comfort. After reading one chapter like I normally do, I kept searching. I journeyed from 1 Thes. 3, to Phil 4, to James 3, to Psalms and Isaiah. Each verse I read was a vivid reminder that all I’ve been searching for is found in Christ. This time, the words didn’t read like another story. They popped off the page as a refreshing, calming, peace-giving balm.

I still don’t know what tomorrow holds-or even today for that matter. But as I go through my day, I’ll remember God’s word, and how much He cherishes and cares for me. I’ll remember the peace and strength He promises to anxious, imperfect people like me.

All because I took time this morning to look beyond the words.

**What verses have impacted you? Were they words you’d read over and over again that took on new meaning? Or words you never realized God wrote specifically for you?**

The hurting, the healed and the Healer

What would it look like if…

*The abused connected with the cherished
*The guilty connected with the forgiven
*The sick connected with the healed
*Struggling new moms connected with experienced moms
*Young women connected with Prov 31 women
*Teens considering abstinence connected with those who waited
*Those from broken families connected with the restored

This is my dream-connecting the hurting with the healed and the ultimate Healer. It hasn’t taken on flesh yet, and I have just an inkling about what it might look like, but I hope God puts opportunities in my path to make it happen.

**Phil 4: 13-I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength.**

My Brother, My Hero

Memorial Day celebrates those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our country. So many brave men and women go into battle everyday for people they have never met, in hopes of securing the freedoms we all so readily enjoy. I count myself lucky that my favorite soldier, my little brother, isn’t one of the fallen.

Me and my hero

God has carefully placed His hand of protection around Brandon time and time again. As a U.S. Marine, he has been injured on occasion, but God has always seen fit to keep him safe. Why is my brother the lucky one? Why do I get to spend more time with him while others mourn their lost? All I can do is thank God, knowing His plans are best.

My heart goes out to the families and friends who have lost loved ones. I cannot imagine the pain you feel, but I am proud of the soldiers you love, just as I am so proud of my brother. He is my hero. The one I always know will have my back on the battlefield and in life, even if he is three years younger than me. For those who have lost someone, I pray God gives you strength, hope and even joy knowing that God’s ways are not our ways, but His ways are best and He will work all things out for good (Romans 8:28).

For those whose beloved soldiers are still with us, say thank you to them and to God. Thank our soldiers for their sacrifice that gives us our freedom. Thank God for His ultimate sacrifice, through which we can all have eternal life.

**This is dedicated to the many soldiers that I proudly call family and friends. Thank you for your service. I love you and pray that like my brother, God keeps you safe.**

Dig Deeper

Many of you know I spend my lunch hour doing Insanity. It’s a dvd-based workout that requires to you to do insane things to your body for 30 minutes to an hour. You do push-ups in ways you cannot imagine. You do more football runs than the football team, and more sprints than the track team. It works, but it hurts. It hurts so much the first few days, you have to reason with yourself why it’s worth going back. In the midst of it all, you have Shaun T, the Insanity leader, yelling two words at you over and over again, “dig deeper.”

As I was in the midst of “digging deeper” yesterday, I thought about the ways Insanity resembles life. Here are a few of the lessons I’ve learned from the gym:

1. Dig Deeper-If you want to accomplish something big, you have to do big things to get there. And it’s going to be hard. You have to decide which is more important, your current comfort, or achieving your goal.
2. Friends are Crucial-Surrounding yourself with like-minded people will help you through the moments that you want to give up. They will challenge you to do bigger and better things.
3. Be Ready to Work Alone-There will be days when your friends won’t be there to hold your hand, and you have to choose to keep going, to keep pursuing your goal. These days are hard, but worth the extra effort. These days force you to decide how important your goal is, and how hard you are willing to work to achieve it.
4. It’s Okay to Rest-Working towards big goals can be exhausting at times. When you feel like compromising your form, and that you’re struggling to perform-rest. Take a short break, and replenish. Just don’t forget to get back to work.
5. Don’t Quit-The greatest things in life require lots of work, time and effort. There will be days when it seems too hard to keep going, but if you do, you will experience the greatest thrill of victory. You may even surprise yourself with what you are actually capable of.