My husband will laugh when he reads this. He’ll tell me, “I told you so,” and “I wondered when you were actually going to listen to me.” I’ll look over at him sheepishly and say, “yes, you were right.”
You see, grad school has taught me something during the last nine months: superwoman does NOT exist. I’m not her. You’re not her. She doesn’t exist, and never did.
That’s such a freeing feeling for me right now as I feel torn between so many desires, wants, dreams, expectations, and anxieties. I want to be everywhere. I want to be at every event. I want to be the best writer. I want to be a spectacular wife (and mommy someday). I want to bake, have a clean home, ace all of my grad school classes, and be an accomplished PR strategist. And how do I feel in the midst of all of this wanting and striving? Tired. Exhausted. A little like salt water taffy on the stretching machine.
By striving so hard to be good at everything all the time, I haven’t been giving my all to anything. I feel inadequate from the strain toward perfection.
How thankful I am that God meets me in my weaknesses. In the midst of my crazy schedule, God has taught me that it’s okay to say no to some things right now, so I can say yes to grad school (and being a wife). I also don’t have to feel guilty about that decision.
I know God has great plans for my life. I’m in the midst of so much of it right now, and I’m excited for what is ahead. For now, however, I’m going to focus on what God has placed on my heart. Today, that means finishing my marketing homework. Tomorrow is up to God.
